Friday, January 8, 2010♥
{2:26 PM}
SCHOOL SUCKS.
today is the last day of the first week of school.
and for people who know, I got kicked out of my clique.
&now, I am going to rant.
*April and *May, both in my clique. [*not their real names]
April is more or less the 'leader' of the clique, with a feisty temper and really straightforward.
May is the one that is really close to April.
at the start of school, May screwed up real badly due to her attitude and her behaviour.
April hated her, &bitched about her to the whole class.
But slowly, things went well with them &now they are like best friends.
And now, due to a project in school, the whole clique started avoiding me.
The reason? Because of April and May.
April felt guilty after a few days, &we are on talking terms now.
But May is the ultimate Bitch.
May told me that the clique thinks that I have a big ego, because of my blog.My reasoning; it's MY fucking blog. what I post, has nothing to do with you.May told me, nobody likes what you post on your blog. &you should not blog anymore as it is disgusting. &nobody cares about what others think about you, so you dont have to copy &paste your stuff for us.My reasoning; once again, it's MY blog. If you dont care, DONT READ. if my blog makes you so damn unhappy, DONT READ. &I write for myself, not for your fucking viewing pleasure. If you want pleasure, go fuck yourselves.May told me that the whole class thinks that I have a big ego &says, 'If you think you're pretty/slim/attractive, you are not. You are not good looking, not skinny. In fact, you are fat. So stop trying to act as if you are attractive.'My reasoning; HELLO?! when the fuck did I even say I am pretty/slim/attractive? &If I were to think that I'm skinny, you'll be seeing me in shorts shorts or mini dresses. But I dont wear any of those. &why? because I know that I'm ugly &fat. That's why. SO STOP WORDS INTO MY MOUTH &ASSUME LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.May also said that I never helped her when April bitched about her. I never helped her, so now, it's my retribution.My reasoning; FUCK YOU BITCH. everyone knows not to defy April, which is why I never dared voice out. &also, there are 2other girls in our clique. they were the one that bitched about you too, not me. I kept my mouth shut. I dont see you scolding those 2girls, right? So what fucked up retribution is that? You tell me that you aint petty, but what the fuck are you doing now? Revenge? aint that petty enough? Seriously, if you are not going to help, STOP MAKING LIFE HELL FOR ME. April never kicked you out of the clique, so why is it that I got kicked out now?May told me that I will never get accepted unless 'they find a reason to forgive my sorry ass'My reasoning; their forgiveness? they HAVE forgived me. you are the one acting pathetic and crying in front of them saying I've bring you so much pain. Bitch, when you screw up, you think we forgave you? April was the one that forgave you, not us. and, bringing you pain? I never bitched about you okay?! April bitched about you hell loads, I dont see you giving her a dressing down right?! &now I'm hated by everyone, YOU HAPPY YET? &crying, saying that I never helped you, so you dont see why you should forgive me? HELLO. are you 3years old? Seriously, you told me to I'll have to deal with people when the time comes. but you are the one that's not dealing with anyone. My apology letters, is for everyone. Not only for you, for EVERYONE. So what makes you think that your decision to reject me can overwrite theirs? FUCK YOU BITCH, FUCK YOU.May cursed &swore at me that time, telling me all my flaws. All I did was to say I'm sorry &I'll change. I never retaliated, I never scolded her back. I accepted what she said. All the above of my reasonings, I never told it to her. Because I didnt want to make matters worse for myself. But now, I am dying.
Because of this, I'm dying.
I am afraid to go to school,
I am afraid of school,
I am a porn star,
I am afraid of my class,
I am afraid of them.
I used to love school, &it was the only thing I looked forward to everyday.
But now, things are seriously fucked up.
&I really wish to quit school.
if things dont clear up soon, my next 2years in school will be hell.
&if I were to stay in hell for the next 2years,
I would very much like to go commit suicide instead.